On the occasion where I swing through McDonald’s for a quick breakfast – come on, you know you love McDonald’s breakfast – I always have to remember to avoid their “new and improved’ premium coffee. To me, it is so terrible that if I forget and just go with my default “coffee…” response at the drive through I end up driving away with a steaming hot cup of something that I will thoroughly not enjoy dumping down the drain.
Their old coffee was fine: simple, basic… hot coffee in a cup. After Starbucks showed everyone that people would buy ultra-caffeinated, over-priced and truly horrendous coffee if you just made it sound and look cool, McDonald’s made the smart business decision to try to take some of that market share and claim it as their own. Only thing is, not all smart business decisions leave a pleasant taste in the mouths of everyone and often there are those on the outside looking for something else. Apparently, this is where I am situated.
I’m not going to call McDonald’s new coffee the worst coffee I’ve ever had – it’s not. I’ve had worse. But this is easily the worst coffee that I have had which has had so much time, effort and marketing behind it. It seriously makes me long for a can of Maxwell House or any of the other typical off-the-shelf brands. It’s so bitter and leaves a horrible after-taste behind it, for me, almost like it’s been blackened. Every time I make the mistake of getting a cup, I try to make it more palatable. Add sugar – no. Add more sugar – no. Add sweetener – no. Add water – no. Poor it out and dilute it with another more favorable coffee – no. Dare I add cream… ? Why? Coffee is not supposed to need cream, or vanilla, or chocolate or Frapp-a-shit-o or anything else along those lines… it’s supposed to be a morning cup of coffee; period!
This morning was one of those mornings where I made this mistake and I am still paying for it. Even a piece of Extra Spearmint gum has not gotten rid of the disgusting taste in my mouth. Thank god it’s almost lunch time; I can eat something and brush my teeth to change this awful taste into something fresher and cleaner. Blech.
On a more serious note… I’m glad that this is the biggest problem of my morning. No traffic accidents, no earthquake devastation , no joblessness, no asthma problems and no ice damming or roof leaking – I’m pretty thankful, today.
